Posted in Uncategorized

Convictions and a Dream: Regarding Discipleship

I have a fervent prayer that my heart be burdened with God’s command for me to disciple the nations. In the midst of thinking on that and wrestling with it for a bit, I fell asleep and had the following dream:

I was in my kitchen with two members of my small group. I desperately wanted a really good, strong cup of espresso. Not the kind I normally drink with just the coffee and then I take the lazy way out and just add almond milk to it.  I wanted it the right way so I needed to froth some milk.  Got out my frother which is extremely easy to use but I just am even too lazy sometimes to do it and then mess with the clean up. I was out of almond milk and didn’t know if that would froth anyway so I got out the regular milk and poured in. No matter what I did it would not come to a complete froth. Just kind of semi-frothed but then I noticed it had turned a brown color. I decided to try to use it anyway and it was spoiled milk. I stood there apologizing to my small group for the messed up espresso.

Now I am no expert on dream interpretation so I am maybe not exactly sure what all this has to do with discipleship but even after this dream that is all I could think of. This is what I kind of feel it is about. Feel free to let me know your thoughts on it.

I feel very convicted and unprepared but I feel that God has said to me that it is time to disciple. I am getting better at sharing the Gospel in my everyday walk but he is saying that is good but He wants more for me. More FOR me… and He wants me to follow His complete Word and stop picking and choosing the parts I want to do because they are the easiest or what makes me comfortable or those things I know for sure I can’t mess up. He says do it the way He has laid out and commanded and let Him take care of the rest. Honestly, mostly when it comes to discipleship I am most afraid of saying the wrong thing or turning people off and then looking foolish to everyone as I sit there having completely flopped. God says to DO the Word and let Him worry about all of that. I wanted to say here that He believes in me much more than I do but then I felt Him correct me – it is not me at all. I can’t do it at all. He knows that…but His Holy Spirit which lives in me can.  Praise God! I don’t even have to believe in myself or my ability. I just have to allow Him to work through my life. Very encouraging.

The Great Commission is a command, not just to some pastors or evangelists, but to me too!!!

For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. 1 John 5:3

He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him. John 14:21

Remember growing pains and how it sometimes hurt but you knew your bones were growing. That is how my spiritual life is right now. Parts of my life have a dull pain to them when I look at where I am and where I want to be…when I look at how well I am loving Christ. But also that dull pain lets me know I am on the right path. I am growing up : )

Posted in Uncategorized

Send Me!!!

I have a very supportive pastor praise God…but I listen to alot of ministers online throughout the week and I have to say I am VERY TIRED of hearing sarcasm coming from the mouths of the men and women of God regarding the benefit of short term mission trips. What if you feel called to do that? What if even one life is changed in that trip? What if it is your own? Are you telling me that one life isn’t worth it all? ….spoken from one who’s life was changed.

Here am I Lord, send me…AGAIN!!!!

Posted in Uncategorized

Forgive and Forget!

 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you – Matthew 5:43-44 (NKJV)

Until you forgive and pray for your enemies, you don’t know the crisis in your own spirit. Forgiving and praying for enemies opens your spirit to LIGHT. Opens up your spirit in a way that nothing else does.  It’s critical that you bless your enemies. – Mike Bickle

In a sermon on the Sermon on the Mount, Mike Bickle inserted this statement and it really spoke to me. Well to be honest it shook me up. Has me thinking tonight about something that God has been speaking to me lately….I have heard many say and even said myself, “I can forgive but I can never forget.” So glad that God did not say that in regards to me.

When I hear these words it kind of makes me sad.  I can testify both to forgiving and forgetting. I know that in my own power I could have never forgiven much less forgotten some things of my life, but in God’s power both of these really are possible. It was possible for me to actually forget and it was possible for others to forget my transgressions and sins against them. We are all human. We all have at sometimes or maybe alot of times sought to help ourselves and our own and sometimes step on, over, or around others to do that. We’ve been hurt but probably actually no more than we have hurt.

I was forgiven much by my heavenly Father and because of the sacrifice of His precious Son, I was washed white as snow. I dont deserve it one bit. I am so thankful and I believe in my heart there is nothing that can be done to me by any human that is worse than what I have done to God, my Father.

So God is speaking to me about this. There is alot of “big” evil out there but what about the everyday stuff. See there is an everyday application required here for me too. Yes I know I can walk in forgiveness and the freedom forgiveness gives and yet still I feel God wants me to take these Words of Scripture and apply them because within my spirit there is a “crisis” this minister spoke of. So, tonight I start praying for my enemies…even if it is hard.

Think I don’t have any? Think you don’t? Jesus never said just pray for and bless those that hurt your really, really bad in a violent or even public way. He didn’t qualify it like that. And He knows my heart.  Somedays I am really good about not speaking harshly about someone I don’t necessarily mesh well with but in my heart I go to places that the Lord knows I go. Maybe this is just someone that gets under my skin and on my nerves. Busted! He knows!  How about those?  Can I bless them? How about those that have blatantly spoken evil,  accused? What of those that just ignore?  Those I am offended with for whatever reason?  Tonight I pray for and bless my enemies. Tonight I want to walk in the LIGHT!

We’ll see where this goes because just something that is being developed in my heart and truly convicted me tonight.