I find myself stuck somewhere between two messages I have heard this week – laying a dream on the altar and not giving up on a dream. I guess in God both can work together for His good purposes.
The problem with laying a dream on the altar is that you have to actually take the steps to kill it -yourself. The problem with the death of a dream is that it was only tangible to you and God and so for the most part no one else gets your grief and so they tend to try to redirect it toward something perhaps totally unrelated.
Last night I was out having a quiet dinner with my son and we ran into my group of friends going to Africa on a mission trip this winter. They had all been getting their yellow fever shots. Ouch! They said it hurt. Don’t know about that but it sure pinched like crazy to have to deal with my own feelings in the middle of Cracker Barrel. I admit it hurts not being a part of the mission and group. It hurts to be on the outside when I get together with these friends and this mission is now the topic of conversation. It hurts and yet I am still interested and have a heart of love and I still am supportive and want to always offer life giving words regarding this mission and my friends willingness to go and share the Gospel.
So I deal privately with my heart and I sit here and the tears roll. I have happiness for them and the changes that will come in their lives. I have happiness for those they will meet along the way. They have lots of projects with orphans and widows and pastors and ladies that have come off the streets of Tanzania. I so wanted to be a part of the ministry to the ladies and widows there.
So I do what I know I am allowed – pray and sow and lay my dreams and plans on the altar.
Interesting how ours seem so “perfect” but God alone has perfect plans.
And then there is the other message of don’t give up….