I have given you this gift and it is your way of connecting with me and the world. Don’t worry about the critics and those that don’t understand you. Write what is on your heart. It is beautiful to Me. Don’t try to impress with your writing. You will move mountains if you let me take control of it. You will speak and preach but it will be based on your writing and something I give you. Come to me often and let’s get this started and flowing again. I never wanted you to give up writing. Stop being afraid of people knowing you and your heart. Your heart is beautiful to me. Stop bringing books into the prayer room. Just bring yourself, My Word, paper, pen and prayer shawl. Start writing and I will give you and show you My heart and your ministry.
I was just in Sam’s Club earlier this week and a man that I used to go to church with came up to me and said, “so I heard you were preaching now. Have you quit your job and started your church yet?!?” I said, “I am not trying to start a church. I am only trying to be obedient to the Lord and what He has called me to do.” He responded, “Oh we know what you are doing!” I smiled and gave him a hug. Said goodbye and Merry Christmas and left.
What?!?! Yes the Lord knows my heart, but sometimes I wish people did. I can’t be responsible for what people think or say but I can be responsible for my own stuff. There is a reason why the Bible says to write the vision and make it plain. So here is my vision that evolves daily but most of what you read here is the same you would have read 5 years ago:
I have never said to anyone ever that I wanted to start a church. I do believe in being faithful to the church God has place you in and I believe in supporting the vision of leadership and helping to build that Body of Christ there. Pastors are that leadership. If you aren’t supporting the Pastor(s) of the church you are set in you are in rebellion.
I have said to every pastor that I have had over the last 8 years that I felt called to preach. Some have given me opportunity and some have not but they all have known it. That is okay because it is God’s timing. He can open doors if He is ready. He can close doors as well. I want to preach because one day I was called! I was called in the middle of a Bible study with a group of ladies. It was later confirmed for me by the Lord during a joint Wednesday night Service that our church held at the Cramerton Presbyterian Church. My pastor at the time was teaching and discussing his own mother and her call to preach. I felt something I have never felt before and I can’t even explain it…it was a solid knowing and it was mixed with a while lot of holy fear.
When God puts a call on your life – you know it. I want to preach because of that call and because sometimes the Word burns in my bones and I feel like I might just explode from the inside. Maybe God will have me preach in a jail or on the streets or in the nursing homes. It is a knowing no matter how much or who comes against it…you still know. I felt the same way when I was called to Africa for a season. It hasn’t happened yet but I know someday it will because God spoke it into my spirit and He is not a man that He should lie. I don’t know when or how or all of the whys…I just know I am called to preach.
Preaching however doesn’t necessarily equate to being a pastor although I guess all pastors are called to preach. (Aren’t we all called to do that?) I am not preaching so that one day I can quit my job and make a “profession” of preaching… although many days I would love to retire and just be about other things. I think that and then He uses me right here in my own little world. I only want to serve the Lord. I want to do it His way…not my way, or my friend’s way…Just His. I found during my time of leading Bible studies that I was drawn to the ones that no one else seemed to want around or in their “groups” and they were drawn to me. The peculiar ones. The peculiar ones are very faithful. I believe that on Sundays we hear what the Lord has said to the pastors and I want to have a Bible study again like I once did on Monday or Tuesday because it is then that I want to hear what God has said to the rest of the Body— since He is speaking to all of His sheep. What has He said to you this week?
Just because I am to preach doesn’t mean that I don’t still believe I have a call to prayer ministry. It goes together and I believe in prayer more today than I ever have. There is actually still nothing I want more than to be a part of a community 24/7 prayer room. There are some of those out there but not in my community. Our communities need to be saturated in prayer. I believe all other ministry begins with prayer and ends with lack of it. I feel like God is going to use me in many areas but the Holy Ghost has drawn me to toward three specifics – prayer, healing, knowing the Word. I believe that preaching and teaching are part of discipleship and we are called to make disciples. I am a disciple of Christ and I am being “made” into a disciple by some very anointed Pastors and teachers and I pray one day I will look and sound just like them, not because of them, but because they look and sound and love like Jesus Christ. I can identify with Maria Woodworth-Etter and with Anna of the Bible. There you have it – straight from my pen. My “stuff.” Now you know.
Write the vision and make it plain : )