I thought once I went to Africa my desire would be satisfied and I would “move on” to others areas of ministry.
God gave me the desire of my heart when He allowed me to go to Tanzania on a mission trip last year. I thought once I went to Africa though, that desire would be satisfied and I would “move on” to others areas of ministry. Instead, it has grown despite even my attempts to change it or deny it.
Some know my struggles in this area. I am especially thankful for the those that know because they have lived through their own. They know the distractions and the fight to stay on a path that makes little sense to the world. They know what it is like to be called by God at a strange time while on some dusty road trying to get somewhere else. They know the tears that won’t stop because they remember their own and recognize the Lord’s touch through those tears. They understand the struggle to explain later what only God could know. They understand the struggle to leave still feeling undone and the struggle once those precious feelings pass with time. They understand what it is like to know that you are not called to mission trips but that you are called to missions. They get the difference but understand that some don’t. And they understand and know very well the crossroads – to act on the call because it is His call, whether it makes sense or whether you feel “undone”… or to resist. Resist knowing you will stand before a holy God having run.
God is a God of specifics and when He gives you specific desires and a specific call with specific doors and then makes His burdens for a specific population, your burdens, what do you do? More specifically, what do I do?
Me – a 56-year-old wife, mom, grandmother, daughter, friend, business owner, prayer warrior, lover and disciple of Jesus and His Word, servant of God, minister of the Gospel. A woman of many titles and responsibilities like most women; but, a woman who has resisted the title of missionary for reasons I don’t really know.
What do I do? I put all the struggles aside, I accept His call, and I GO!