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My 9/11 Testimony

We all remember so many details and images of 9/11/01.

As I drove up the Colonial Parkway toward home that day, I wondered how it would forevermore feel to be one with a birthday on 9/11. How would those born on this day celebrate life in the midst of such death? God knows every thought or maybe He planted that thought in my mind, knowing I would revisit it many times in the coming years.

On 9/11/2006 at around 10:15am, the 5th anniversay of this Patriot Day, with the roll call of those that died playing in the distance, the supernatural power of God met the natural in my life. I found myself that morning alone. We had since moved from Virginia to NC and I was battling severe depression. This was not new, it had been going on for years but on this day I was tired of fighting each and every day to stay alive. Satan had me in a stronghold and I was almost convinced of my unworth. Almost, because for reasons that even I do not know, I said a desperate and heart felt prayer to Jesus, “HELP!”

And then….as in the days of the Apostle Paul, I encountered the Living God.

His magnificent and radiant Glory filled my office. His presence filled every crevice of that room including every part of me…I felt both incredible peace and holy fear. I fell onto the floor and for what seemed hours, I lay prostrate there under the weight of His Glory. I was as one of the dead in my physcial body though more alive than ever before within. On that day, the Almighty God allowed me to see just a glimpse of Himself, He held me in His arms and allowed me to see the “Missy” that He created me to be and showed me how satan had worked to destroy me even as he had destroyed my own dad. My Father spoke to me words that will forever be engraved in my heart, Words no one can ever take away or dismiss. Heavenly words! I spoke to Him words that I will forever live by. On that day, He healed me, delivered me and changed this life for all eternity. On that day, I repented of my sins, forgave all who I had been so unwilling to forgive and then He forgave me and I accepted His salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ.  On that day, I made Him Lord and King. After years of hiding the truth about myself and pretending to be saved because I had walked the aisle one time as a child, I was truly born again. Washed as white as snow. That was the greatest of miracles in my life.

My Father then baptized me with His Holy Spirit and I began to speak a language I didn’t know! A heavenly language that until that very moment I had never believed in. He promised to restore my life and that of my family. His promises are always true! It was a suddenly, parting of the red sea experience. I was changed in every way…physically, emotionally and spiritually. I came away with a burning love for Him and His Word and the desire to please Him in all I do.

So today is my real, true birthday. There will probably be no cake, no presents…I know no way to celebrate than this – to remain filled with a heart of gratitude and devotion and indescribable love for my Savior and those He created. To do His will as best as I can. To never forget…remind myself daily of Jesus’ sacrifice and His love for me that brought me out of the place of impending death and into this eternal life. Think about it…at a time when the pain and grief of an entire country was so much in the world’s focus…My Shepherd “left the ninety-nine” to come and rescue this sinner. The beautiful Lamb of God carried this lamb home…what a special gift to me! Thank you so much Jesus!!!!

And herein lies another truth….If He did all of this for me, He can and will do it for you too. He will reveal Himself to you. He will meet you or come after you. He will draw you to Himself or draw you closer. If you feel you are in a place that you can do nothing else, just say the only prayer I did….”HELP!”

I pray for the peace and love I feel to comfort you all and most especially those that are still in so much grief on this 9/11. I pray today that you know my Jesus!

________________________

 

The following is on my wall of this office right in front of where I sit. I will never forget 9/11:

Lord, I give myself to You;

I give my life to You.

I want to be your servant.   

I feel Your call;

I believe I was sent and saved

To do the will of my Father.

I will take orders from You.

I will submit to You.

I will let You break my will.

I will not seek for comfort

or high positions,

Nor to do what I want to do.

Mine is the humblest task,

Or the most dangerous task;

By the grace of God, I will do it.

I will go where You want me to go;

I will do what You give me to do.

If in this walk I seem to have nothing,

I will not complain.

At times when I find myself in a kind of prison, 

I will rejoice and I will praise You

Because You have been to prison for me.

I love You, Jesus;

I thank You for calling me,

And that You want me,

And that You can use me;

I thank You that You are there to guide every step

As I do my part to ready

Your Bride for Your return. 

And I say today with my whole heart, 

“Send the Fire

And burn up the sacrifice.

Fill me again and again with Thy Holy Spirit

And give me a double portion of Thine anointing.”

 

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Abiding: Thoughts, Prayers and the Word of God

The warfare has been so intense these last days so I have planted myself in the Word of God and put my focus on Jesus Christ. Over the last couple of days I have meditated on this word – ABIDE. I am sure this will go further because it just is the way I am, but decided to type this out. I have kind of used it like one of my prayer/scripture cards. Maybe all of this will help someone else too.

Abide: To wait for, await. To endure without yielding, withstand. To bear patiently, endure. To remain in one place.

Synonyms for “abide”: To stay, dwell, remain. To hand around, stick around. Tarry.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. John 15:4-5 (one of my favorite scriptures)

Prayers from God’s Word to help keep me in the place of abiding

-Lord, have mercy on me

Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto thee daily. Psalm 86:3

-Lord, impart Your thoughts to me

But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. 1 Corinthians 2:10

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.. Isaiah 55:8

-Lord, help me to take every thought captive to You

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:5

-Lord, test and examine my ways

Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the Lord. Lamentations 3:40

I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings. Jeremiah 17:10

-Lord, make my desires Your desires

Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalm 37:4

-Lord, help me to be faithful in small things

He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. Luke 16:10

-Lord, show me which way I should turn today

And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.Isaiah 30:21

-Lord, keep me in Your dwelling place

How amiable are thy tabernacles, O Lord of hosts! Psalm 84:1

-Lord, keep me on track today

Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing. Phillippians 3:12-16

-Lord, give me Your mind

For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? but we have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:16

-Lord, help me to set my mind on things above

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. Colossians 3:2

-Lord, help my speech to be gracious

Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.Colossians 4:6

-Lord, keep me in Your shelter and give me Your rest

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

-Lord, more of You and less of me

He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30

And when we have found our place of abiding with Christ, the fragrance of Christ is spread by us, for we are to God the aroma of Christ and we carry the fragrance of life to those around us.

Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place. For we are unto God a sweet savour of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish: To the one we are the savour of death unto death; and to the other the savour of life unto life. And who is sufficient for these things? For we are not as many, which corrupt the word of God: but as of sincerity, but as of God, in the sight of God speak we in Christ. 2 Corinthians 2:14-17